I penned an article today for the examiner about large sales. It was spot on, as they say. I waxed poetic about how to make a sale large, larger, largest. For the fan of the pun, it could be described as a game plan to increase the “largesse” of the donators and the buyers to boot.

So…. if’n you care to read an objective assessment about a big one, and you don’t mind the slightly local twist, please check it out. The link follows in parentheses (http://www.examiner.com/garage-sales-in-kansas-city/garage-sale-huge).

I tend not to voice personal opinions when authoring an article at the examiner. I reserve that special privilege to my blogging audience.

So…if’n you want that, here goes.

I get a tiny bit peeved when folks refer to a sale that they are having, that I drove all the way to go to, as HUGE, only to find out that their definition of huge and mine, is, well, different. I don’t have a lot of fun going to a garage sale when there is a nothing to look at, let alone, buy.  The more “trash” there is, the more “treasure” that I can unearth. Bring it on!  

Here is garage sale vocab 101. Huge is grand, large, awesome and awe-inspiring. It makes buyers gasp, buy and remember your sale year after year.   It can be measured in number of items, tables, and square footage. It is unmistakenly more than can fit in a my car at any given moment in time! Hello!

Even if your sale fits the definition of huge, I have to want to participate in the garage sale event. That leads to my request to you would-be, wannabe, huge sellers.

Please stop bombarding me, as a shopper and a donator, with a bunch of rules. (If I liked rules, I would be an officer of the law. Instead, you may remember from my bio,  I “was” an officer of the Court, a lawyer, focused on changing rules or at least making them fairer!) It is hard to keep the rules straight at all the sales I go to, so I am not really keen on learning and minding yours.   

Make things as easy as pie (apple, pecan but not pumpkin) for me to give you stuff to sell. Take all my stuff. Take it when it is convenient for me, not you.    

Make things as easy as pie (wildberry, key lime, but not coconut or banana creme) to buy what other people gave you for free, repeat, free. Don’t ask for bids, explain your high value on the thing, or keep me waiting at the door in the cold, rain or heat.  Try not to make your piles taller than I am. And, for the sake of high school math teachers everywhere, price in quarter increments and add in your head or something like that. A calculator is not necessary for 10 items at a dollar each. Geez!  

I could go on and on and on about a number of things that are being done (not to just me, I am not paranoid!) that discourage sales, even at a HUGE one. However, I am going to put away my negative stick and witch’s broom. Nothing and no one should ruin my garage sale life and mindset. Besides, it is almost Halloween. That (and current affairs) are scary enough!

Happy haunting, I mean, hunting.

Lisa